dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
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We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
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Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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