is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize