Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
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took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
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Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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