You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize