oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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