I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize