Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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