If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize