Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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