I wannas sexs uuuuu
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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