i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize