If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
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My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
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I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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