the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
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The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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