i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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