Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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