I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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