i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
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There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
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You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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