well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
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Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
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Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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