He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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