glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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