the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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