I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize