What a fucking waste of an outfit
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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