why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize