mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
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You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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