This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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