Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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