It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize