Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize