i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Michael Bay diarrhea
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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