the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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