We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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