i don't like sucking hair
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
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my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
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I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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