Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize