dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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