who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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