I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
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It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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