The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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