i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
how does that bad decision feel?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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