My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
you never un-have a 4some
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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