Your face is a jimmy john
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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