drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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