Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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