Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize