google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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