I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize