just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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