He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize