Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize