i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize